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This 2 Letter Word Might Be Ruining Your Relationship

These 2 letters may be ruining your relationship and your attempts to heal or fix it.⁣
And I have heard it ALL OF THE TIME with literally every couple whom I have worked with in my 20 years as a therapist and counselor.⁣
When you say:⁣
We can’t communicate.⁣
We don’t have a good sex life.⁣
We don’t understand each other.⁣
There is no “we” in your relationship.⁣
There are two I’s.⁣
And in my experience when someone says WE, they mean YOU.⁣
YOU don’t know how to communicate.⁣
YOU are a bad lover.⁣
YOU don’t understand me.⁣
And the WE means that no one is taking responsibility.⁣
And since it generally does not work to tell your partner that they are wrong in order to motivate them to change…⁣
All of the WE TALK is not going to get you very far.⁣
May I introduce you to this pronoun? I.⁣
“I struggle with deeply listening when I am activated and then bring up old wounds and throw them in his face which means we are now arguing about the past AGAIN.”⁣
“I don’t have my own relationship to pleasure and am afraid to really ask for what I want and now come to think of it I don’t even know what I want but I don’t want what he is giving me but rather than try something new I just shut down because I HAVE TRIED something again and again and it just seems hopeless so I have given up.”⁣
I statements will change your life.⁣
BUT BEWARE…some I statements will take you right back to the old blame game!⁣
“I feel like YOU don’t listen to me.”⁣
BEEEEP! NOPE. That is a blame sweets. Try again.⁣
Here is the thing…I know that you were not trained on how to be responsible when you are so pissed that you could spit nails.⁣
I know that you have been told that asking for what you want and experiencing pleasure is selfish and lazy.⁣
I know that you secretly believe that if it was “meant to be” it would be easy.⁣
Sorry sweetheart. Most of us are here to learn the womanly art of sacred union with ourselves so we can connect with another.⁣
This might be your moment to transform.⁣
SUMMER SALE is happening now on my 10 week Your Marriage is Your Ashram Self-Study Experience. Link in bio.
Get sober from your addiction to the WE TALK today! :-))

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