The term “burnout” is overused, but it’s a term understood by so many women (because of that). Burnout recovery is so much more than overcoming stress, or figuring out how to be less exhausted and more able to take on the chaos of life. It’s about understanding what your body is telling you – which starts in whispers and niggles, and turns into, inevitably, screams, howls and shouts when you ignore it! – and tuning into the fact that…midlife health problems are your body trying to tell you to stop ignoring it! 

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Confession time…

Much of my professional and entrepreneurial life has been built on the whirring-worry-of-scarcity.

The TONE or EMOTIONAL STATE of the strategies that I have employed have been to GET SOMETHING.

Get degrees.
Get certifications.
Get clients.
Get legitimate.
Get known.
Get authority.
Get results.
Get money.
Get freedom.
Get wealth.

About five years ago, the GETTING broke me. I “had” clients, degrees, certifications…I was legit but all the while I was CONDITIONING LACK IN MYSELF.

Because only from a place of LACK do I need to GET ANYTHING.

Sure, just like you (maybe) I do choose to play in the Monopoly-board-world that we live in – at least for the time being 🧙‍♀ – and pay taxes, my mortgage, and my family’s “health” insurance. Therefore I NEED TO GET MONEY for those things.

But underneath all of the strategy (even the super woo-woo-goddess-talk-to-your-yoni strategy) that I have employed over the years, I have been marinating myself in a SIGNAL OF FEAR-UNSAFETY-WORRY.

And *of course* I was afraid, unsafe, and worried because I was ignoring my own needs. Back then…

I did not feel safe enough to nourish myself. ← There wasn’t enough time.

I did not feel safe enough to listen to myself. ← Honestly, I couldn’t even really HEAR myself because I had severed myself from myself.

I did not feel safe enough to replenish myself. ← Again with the time thing!

I did not feel safe enough to take time off, have a nap, or respond to the LOUD (and then deafening) cues from my body that were saying, “THIS isn’t working!”. ← “Because if I didn’t handle it all WHO was going to handle it?!”

I conditioned lack in myself and lived in a near-constant state of nervous system activation without realizing it.

So…my body got LOUD.

She got loud with some painful pelvic issues.

She got loud with migraines that started every quarter, then every month, then once a week, then every few days.

She got loud with disrupted sleep…as in only sleeping 2-3 hours every night for MONTHS.

It was terrible.

I literally could no longer DO ANYTHING.

I could no longer use the excuse that I couldn’t afford the *many* healing treatments that might help…I started to invest in everything I could.

I could no longer use the excuse that I didn’t have time…I literally spent hours a day in bed, eye mask on, curtains drawn, praying for the pain to dissipate…all I had was time to be with myself.

I cried A LOT.

I worried about money, my clients, my business, and my future not knowing if this was my new normal.

Somewhere in there…I surrendered. 

And by “surrendered”, I mean I stopped trying to CHANGE OR FIX what was happening and I started to accept it.

When I would wake up at 2am, I allowed the exhaustion and fury to move my body through wild movement and dance (in the guest room, with my headphones on) blasting binaural beats in 8D (here’s one of my playlists for you if you want to check it out).

Rather than collapsing mentally inward from the exhaustion-worry-and-fretful-fear, I started to MEET IT physically.

I plunged myself into the cold pool outside (headphones on again), gyrating as fast and furious as I could, thrashing around like a feral animal, banshee yelling to ENCOUNTER THE DISCOMFORT. I became the discomfort embodied.

I yielded to the pain, becoming an injured tigress crawling on the floor, moaning, sounding, and hissing while slowly slowly slowly expressing the sensations with snarls, growls, and undulations.

I started to DEEPLY LISTEN TO MY BODY. 

I tuned into myself.

I set and held boundaries with EVERYTHING. Work. Social engagements. People. Food. Sleep. Everything.

I hired everyone who I encountered who felt like maybe they could help me. I did parasite cleanses (LOTS of them), acupuncture, chiropractic, energy work, herbs, supplements…the list is long.

Then, I dropped even deeper into ACCEPTANCE.

“Okay, Body. This is cool. I got you. I promise, from now on, I will listen to you. If this is our new normal, I will love you anyway and adjust my life FOR YOU.” ← Because when you are chronically feeling like shit, you KNOW that if you don’t have your health, you’ve got NOTHIN’.

My body has taken the front seat in my life and become my primary source of guidance, safety, and self-trust.

I have learned to embody REAL SAFETY in my being-ness EVERYDAY by deeply listening to what she needs all of the time. 

No exceptions.

Honestly, before now it was all a head game for me. I *thought* I “felt safe” but my body was screaming something else to me (she doesn’t lie, our bodies…they are Speakers of Truth). I didn’t want to hear her because what she was saying was INCONVENIENT.

Inconvenient to not working XX many hours a week, inconvenient to focus on my safety-pleasure-nourishment, and inconvenient to *need to listen to myself* when things needed to get done.

Yeah…the body will not be silenced forever. Eventually she speaks loudly enough that we can no longer ignore what she’s been trying to tell us.

This listening has meant that I was quiet in this space not writing my usual 2-3 emails a week. I was, and still have been, committed to only CREATING CONTENT from an inner place of safety, calm, and nourishment. Not from a place of needing to get something, stay relevant, or follow some strategy to keep me TOP OF MIND FOR YOU.

I know there are some very intense situations happening right now globablly…possibly the MOST intense. And still, I live by the adage, “As above, so below.” 

The only way that I can experience calm *out there* is for me to grow it *in here*. 

When I am grounded in safety internally, when I can sense security in my own being then whatever I offer YOU has the tone, the frequency, the SIGNAL of nourishment. When you are safe and nourished, you can go forth and provide safety and nourishment for others…and goodness knows so many people are in need of that right now.

My Confession of Fear…

I confess that I have spent most of my life fueled by fear…even when it looked like enthusiasm and a sunny disposition. Yes, I am naturally quite optimistic and enthusiastic but tucked underneath that positive mindset was the grip-grip-clenching of a woman trying to control her life so she would be safe.

I’ve changed. I offer some new things and some old things in new ways. 

I have a legit team now (I feel so Adult!). I am investing in the kind of solid, secure, sober-from-fear, grown-up structure that my BODY AND NERVOUS SYSTEM need to build what I am here to build:

A space that offers women and men the opportunity to self-initiate beyond the status-quo that keeps you chained to the whirring-worrying.

This includes elegant, playful, and gently rigorous opportunities for women in their Empress years (post-Mothering-pre-Crone) to Circle Up and tune in to themselves, their own wisdom, and hone their personal discernment. These are spaces and places for you to tune into the truth of who you are and then craft a life from that place.

This also includes exclusive pop-up weekend revival retreats that are simple, nutrient-rich, and offer in-the-flesh experiences for women to remember what it is like to be held, witnessed, and deeply tended to in collectives of well-initiated women.  (If this interests you, contact me to find out when the next one may be.)

This also includes private offerings for men who are courageous enough to get in the arena with me. I adore working with men. I forgot that for a minute so I am bringing it back. (Again, contact me directly to ask about these offerings!)