5 Tools to Help You Find Your Own Path

If you’ve ever wondered, “What do I really want in life?” and then immediately produced seventeen reasons you can’t have it, you’re not alone. Creating a life that feels truly yours begins with becoming aware of what is already creating it: your thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, feelings, and the energy you bring into your relationships and choices. I think of these as the 5 Tools of Creation. And whether you realize it or not, you’re already using them every day.

You are a divine being, here to CREATE.

You’re trained to CONSUME the 5 effective tools you have as a divine creator in this life.

But if you are like most people…you’ve given those tools away to other people/collectives/noise in your world. Making it difficult for you to learn how to create the life you want. 

When you begin to REALLY GET that you are here to create….

When you REALLY GET that you are not here to just Cookie-Monster-Gobble your way through life, consuming-consuming-consuming, and never feeling deeply sated by LIFE…

When you DECIDE that you want to step out into the world of CONSCIOUSLY CREATING the kind of relationships and life and health and wealth and communities that would feed all of your desires….

Well…you need to know the 5 tools.

If you are anything like how I used to be…and still how I can be now too…you have unconsciously allowed what I think of as the Not Self Noise to infiltrate you commandeering these tools.  There’s value in learning to trust your own inner wisdom, but it’s not always a simple task. 

Quite literally robbing you of your creative capacity. 

How Do You Create the Life You Want?

If you’re not sure if you’ve been commandeered do this:

Say out loud something that you really really really want. Something that you have wanted to experience-have-know for a looong long time. Something that feels like your deepest heart’s desire.

Now say out loud why you CAN’T have it.

Now say out loud why you CAN have it.

Which is winning out in your world right now? 

For many women, the CAN’T HAVE IT voice has had decades of practice.

It has absorbed expectations from family, culture, relationships, work, social media, teachers, coaches, and all the other places we’ve been taught what a “good” life is supposed to look like.

That’s why reconnecting with what you actually want can be such a powerful practice in self-trust and inner wisdom.

The question isn’t only, “What should I do next?”

It’s:

What is actually true for me?

The problem with this – as I see it – is that that desire *would not be planted in you* unless you were supported to experience it.

What Is the Desire Under the Desire?

Sometimes the thing we think we want isn’t actually the deepest desire at all.

“I want a different marriage” may contain a longing to feel safe enough to soften.

“I want to make more money” may hold a deeper desire for freedom.

“I want to quit my job” may really be asking for creativity, spaciousness, meaning, or autonomy.

“I want to move somewhere else” may contain a longing for adventure or aliveness.

This is why learning how to listen to yourself matters. Instead of immediately rearranging the external pieces of your life, you can become curious about what the desire underneath the desire is actually asking you to experience.

Often what I find is that what’s *under* the desire for a passionate marriage (once we get into it, which is what I do in my groups and private mentoring) is the desire to surrender into strong-safe-”I-gotchu” arms. It is a desire to be led. A desire to open. A desire to let go. A desire to trust.

It’s often NOT about leaving your marriage or “fixing” your marriage or leaving your job-home-life…but getting to know what the desire is under the desire and then using the 5 tools of (divine) creation in the sandbox of life to create the life you want.

It’s actually quite fun!

The 5 Tools for Creating a Life That Feels Like Yours

THINKING: Become Aware of Your Thoughts

Your thoughts are the scaffolding for your life. 

You have about 70,000 thoughts a day and over 90% of them are recycled from yesterday or the past. 

They are on repeat – the favorite songs are playing in your mind about why you can’t have-get-enjoy something or why your spouse won’t change-listen-pick-up-their-clothes. 

That’s all OLD NEWS but that old news will define your TODAY when you are stressed, tired, exhausted and AFRAID. OLD NEW THOUGHTS looooove it when you are afraid because they will take over and tell you all kinds of LIES LIES LIES (“Joe Lies!” ← 50,000 point for the reader to know what movie that song was from! 😂)

In today’s world, we are often told what to THINK in order to belong to a side or a perspective or the group that we want to belong to as well. 

Think about the last time when you had YOUR OWN THOUGHTS that were outside of the norm of your family or group…did you share them? 

Most of us will squirrel those thoughts away so as to not create problems.

The problem with this self-cancelling is that we never get to explore our Original Intelligence! We lose access to our own inner wisdom because we’re so busy deciding whether our thoughts will be accepted by everyone else.

BELIEVING: Examine the Beliefs Shaping Your Life

Your beliefs are the cornerstone of your life. 

And most people never examine them. 

Most people don’t realize that they are working from beliefs (that often aren’t even THEIRS!) until someone like me points it out to them.

For some years, I believed that in order to be successful I needed to earn XXX amount of money or have XXX kind of team…those were beliefs that were given to me by former coaches and a society that defined what success is OUTSIDE OF ME.

It has taken me until 5 minutes ago – okay maybe a bit longer – to define success, wealth and prosperity on my own terms.

Making this distinction is part of learning how to create the life you want rather than unconsciously building one around someone else’s definition of success.

Ferreting out your own beliefs around success is HUGE in the Have-The-Life-You-Want Journey…if you aren’t sure what your beliefs are…

LOOK AT YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW. 

Your life right now is showing back to you what your beliefs ARE and what they are NOT.  If you don’t get what this means, contact me and I’ll make a YT video on it. 😉

The kind of relationships you have (or don’t have), the kind of time-money-day-to-day…ALL OF IT is based on your beliefs. So, if you don’t like something that’s going down in your world…begin by examining your beliefs.

(But just so we are clear, it’s not just about changing your beliefs and everything changing…)

You also need to align your…

BEHAVIOR: Take Aligned Action

Taking aligned action EVERYDAY with your beliefs is the bread and butter of being a creator in your own world rather than sitting on the sidelines and waiting for something to change.

Knowing what you want isn’t the same as living it.

Aligned action is where your inner knowing begins taking form in your actual life.

If you say you value spaciousness but schedule every available minute, there’s a disconnect.

If you believe creativity matters but never make time to create, there’s a disconnect.

If you long for deeper intimacy but protect yourself from vulnerability, there’s a disconnect.

This isn’t about judging yourself or performing your way toward another better version of you. It’s about noticing whether your everyday behaviors support the life you say you want to create.

THINGS DON’T CHANGE…PEOPLE DO.

And learning to trust yourself when you don’t know what’s next is a key step towards creating the life you want. 

Aligned action will produce all kinds of FEELINGS!

FEELING: Learn to Listen to Your Emotions

Your feelings are all tangled up in your thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. You might feel like your feelings are yanking you around or maybe you feel numb to your feelings. 

Whatever your feelings are, THEY MATTER…

But it doesn’t always mean that we should follow them (because sometimes they are just an emotional release not guiding wisdom! It’s sooo important to know the difference!).

Many of our feelings are conditioned too! 

Some of us are practiced at feeling light and hopeful (we call this a positive personality or optimistic disposition) some of us are practiced at being suspicious or cautious (we call this having a weary or cynical perspective). 

I could go on and on about feelings but it is important for you to know that your feelings about your relationship, life, wealth, and health create your…

YOUR ENERGETIC SIGNATURE: Notice What You’re Bringing Into the World

This creates the orbit that you call your life. 

You don’t need to be all woo woo to know that people bring ENERGY with them. You know that there are some folks that you vibe with and some folks that just feel off to you. That’s their energetic signature.

And this signature will repel situations and people who are not a match for you and it will bring situations and people who ARE a match for you. It’s like living in a frequency or a station and all you hear will be music from that station…because THAT is where you have parked yourself.

What Might You Create If You Really Listened to Yourself?

None of these five tools are things you need to acquire.

You already think.

You already believe.

You already behave.

You already feel.

And you already bring a particular presence into every room, relationship, decision, and ordinary Wednesday of your life.

The invitation is to become more conscious of what you’re creating with them.

Because underneath all the noise about who you should be, what you should want, how your marriage should look, what success should mean, and what you’re supposed to do next, there is something quieter.

You.

Your desires. Your inner wisdom. Your particular way of moving through this one wild human life.

This is so much of the work I love doing with women: creating spaces where we can turn down the volume OUT THERE and become much more practiced at listening IN HERE. Not so I can tell you what your life should look like, but so you can become wiser and more deeply rooted in your own knowing.

If you’re longing for that kind of space and the nourishment of exploring it alongside other women, Rooted Women Rise (re) is my group mentorship for women who are ready to listen more deeply, engage their lives more consciously, and discover what wants to emerge next.

Come practice remembering how to hear yourself.

→ Explore Rooted Women Rise (re)