tuning into yourself through writing and peace

What Tuning Into Yourself May Look Like

A few weeks ago, an online friend (who I had met in person before at a Dr. Joe Dispenza event…so he wasn’t a perv 😝) who lives in Canada messaged me to say that he and his husband were going to be in Vegas on Aug 21-22…did I live close enough to pop over to see them?

Well…it’s a 7 hour drive so not EXACTLY a “pop over”.

SIDENOTE: I have been really committed to being more spontaneous and fun and embodying a sense of freedom…because this girl can squirrel herself away with a good book, my journal, some spiritual texts, and wide open spaces for basically…EVER. So I try to encourage myself to get out a bit so I don’t become a crazy cat lady. Meow.

(Do you struggle to step outside of your familiar zone? I’ve got some great insights in my article, Stop Waiting To Live Your Life. Read it here.)

Back to my story…

I checked my Southwest CC and had enough miles for Vegas and with a whoop of delight, booked the trip.

Who does that?! Flying in at 1:40pm and then leaving at 9:40pm ON THE SAME DAY! I felt like Beyonce or something! So daaaaangerous! 😜

As whimsical and free flowing as you might think that I am, I am also quite practical and had to work through the non-spontaneous-clenchy part of me: lost work time during a launch, coming home VERY LATE, missing a solid four hours a sleep for my next work day, and “Was I being frivolous?!”

But the FUN and SPONTANEOUS and FREE me said, “Phooey! You will be fine! Just have a coffee the morning after and roll with it.” <– Um. I don’t drink coffee. 🙃

This Was SO Not Me!

So I went! I drove the hour to the airport, waited an hour for the flight, took the hour flight there, got an Uber for $30 to their 5-star hotel, was sitting with my friends having a late lunch hearing about all of the things happening in their business (amidst the loud music, glaring flashing lights, artificial everything)…and 2.5 hours in, I felt a truth descend on me.

“I don’t want to be here anymore.” (talk about strongly tuning into yourself, hey?)

First of all, I am the strange person who has shungite dripping from my body when I travel (it is a stone that blocks electromagnetic field, look it up), I have a Healy that I run to mitigate frequency disruptions on airplanes (there are more EMFs in airplanes than just about anywhere), and I also am sporting those oh-so stylist blueblocker glasses. 🤩🤓🧙‍♀️

In other words, being in spaces that are noisy, crowded, loud, and filled with artificial light are not my thing.

And guess what…Las Vegas is noisy, crowded, loud, and filled with artificial light. Duh.

Are You Guilty Of Tuning Into Yourself Like This Too?

I suppose I just thought that it would be fine.

I supposed that we would be in a quiet tranquil garden somewhere catching up.

We weren’t.

So, I did what any woman who needs to conference with herself does.

I went to the bathroom. I quickly checked to see if there was an earlier flight. Yes! At 5:30pm.

It was 4pm.

Shit.

I looked in the mirror at my especially glittery face (if you have never met me in person, you possibly don’t know that biodegradable body glitter is a uniform for me…and I went all out for my trip), my especially styled-I’m-leaving-the-house-hair, and my “going out” leather Roman-warrier-goddess shoes (which I barely wear because I barely go out) and wondered…will I regret leaving now?

Every Woman’s Mental Pinball Game

I thought to myself, “I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”

Then I briefly entertained all of those usual self-questioning-thoughts that ~~a use~~ women have been conditioned to have:

What a waste of time-resources-miles(!!)-money to just come for 3 hours!

Why did you say YES if you didn’t want to stay the whole time?

They will be disappointed if you leave!

And my favorite: YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR WORD.

A Woman’s Super Power

Here is the thing about living from your truth, living dynamically from the present moment, and EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I TEACH…your truth changes if you are willing to stay in relationship with it.

And if you’re tuning into yourself when these whirling thoughts pop up!

Sure sometimes we do need to “keep our word” like when you have a kid and raise him for 18 or 20 or 22 (!!!) years…I have kept my word on that one and a gazillion other things.

We get to use our super power of discernment as women to prevent us from being bitter bitches. And sometimes that discernment says, “I’m outta here.” BECAUSE IT IS FOR OUR OWN HEALTH AND WELLNESS. <– And that is valid tuning into yourself and doesn’t require any explanation even if someone else doesn’t get it.

I reminded myself, “It’s not my job to take care of their feelings. They are two grown men and we actually don’t have any plan beyond catching up right now.” I also knew that I was more than happy to be with their hurt or annoyed feelings afterwards if necessary.

I imagined us wrapping up our visit in another hour or two and me heading back to the airport for a three++ hour wait for the flight. I thought about the drive home at 11pm…SEVEN HOURS from that moment and my body was a clear, “No.”

Not because of my friends. They are delightful.

But because of me…it was fun and free and spontaneous until it wasn’t.

And I get to change my mind. <– And p.s. so do you!

Since I teach this stuff, I had to apply it in the moment because THAT is how a woman who lives in coherence with her truth leads.

I Held Onto My Power

I left the ~~conference room~~ bathroom and went back to the table and said, “You know what guys, I can catch a flight in 75 minutes home or at 9:40pm and I feel like leaving sooner is a better fit for me!” <– Said with a bright, shiny, happy voice and not a voice looking for agreement. 😉 #protip

I was clear. I didn’t explain. I didn’t apologize. I just said what was true for me joyfully and with growing enthusiasm at the thought that I would be in bed by 8:15pm if I made the flight!

We took a quick photo, I scurried out to the curb as the doorman hailed a cab, I asked how long to the airport praying I would make it in time, and started to change my flight on my phone with 49 minutes until departure time.

🏃‍♀️ It was like The Amazing Race! 🏃‍♀️

I made it with plenty of time and happily nestled up in my center seat, book in hand, shungite securely around my neck, listening to classical music to mute the video from the guy sitting next to me.

And I was in bed by 8:15pm.

Tuning Into Yourself In Small Ways

When I write to you about following your pleasure or listening to the truth of who you are…I am not necessarily talking about the BIG THINGS — leaving a marriage, changing jobs, or moving to another country.

I am talking about the most mundane things like deep listening during a social engagement that you realize no longer is a fit for you.

How do you, in that moment, practice tuning into yourself while also attending to your relationship? There is tremendous nuance available for you in these spaces and THESE are the spaces where radical self-devotion and nourishment can be found.

Most women forgo their own needs again and again in order to care for the other person which creates bitterness, resentment, and feeling like you don’t own your life or your time. When, you do!

If you don’t give it away for someone else’s comfort.

I would love to guide you through these kinds of mundane situations in one of my 1:1 coaching packages. We don’t talk about theories or what “should” work – we dig into your REAL SITUATIONS with the REAL PEOPLE who you love while *also* loving yourself. 🤯

No Guilt or Fear Over Here

I woke up the next morning THRILLED that I had listened to myself and delighted that I was willing to walk through an uncomfortable friend-moment in order to care for the fresh reality that had descended upon me. I felt extra love for my quiet home, peaceful neighborhood, and supremely boring life. In other words, I was happy that I came home.

That happiness, however did not just HAPPEN because I made that decision.

That happiness is also CHOSEN because I have the awareness of mind not to second guess myself (“Should I have left? What if I missed out on something amazing?!”) and I no longer bully myself with nonsense thinking patterns (“There you go again, not being able to commit! I bet they were super disappointed in you!”).

Over the years, I have grown my capacity to feel joy and happiness which allows me to make a choice and be with that choice in peace REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME.

I want this for you too if you struggle setting boundaries, find that you can be bitter in relationships, or are unsure how to be the main character of your life (while responsibly caring for those you love).

Join me here and start tuning into yourself!